Wandering

I can't sleep.

My mind is active.

I am restless.

I dream more these days.

Maybe it's like an escape hatch.

I wish there was more time.

If there was a way

To buy time

I would. But I can't.

I wish there was more time

To let you know

It needn't be. But I can't

If there was a way

To let you know

Things will change.

I will try.

There is a way

to make things better

Let it pass

Let it heal, let it go

It will happen

When we stop trying to buy time

for time passed

and learn to spend it

for better times ahead

Guilt has two sides : Happiness has two edges

The heart is torn, and the soul is weak

Familiarity

It was a familiar setting. We all long for things familiar.
Familiarity brings comfort, and comfort confidence, to carry on.

It will all change, and we will find courage to tear away from familiarity.

From courage, we will find new confidence, and once again this confidence will bring the comfort we all need.

To continue on.

Practise

Everytime I check into the heated studio, I stare at the mirror at myself. Of late, I find my stare more intent.
Focus on yourself. There is nothing more important than yourself for the 90 min. Out of this room, out of this 90 min, do what you want, what you need. But for now, just focus on the person in the mirror staring back at you.

All your beauty, all your flaws, all you.

Breathe and focus. There is no perfection. Everyday I discover a part of me that I didn't know existed. Every class I discover a pain that never before surfaced. Every time I leave the room, I feel renewed. Renewed with pain. How sadistic. The only way to get rid of pain is to go back again to stretch the painful muscle, the tendon, until the pain goes away. The longer you let it rest, the longer the pain you have to live with.

For now, I need to refocus and refine my practise. To deal with the commotion outside of the studio, outside of the 90 min of 'me' time. One day I will find my renewed strength and grace to deal with the brutal world outside.