Stress

Spoke with my friend residing in faraway land. Was telling her about my trip to BJ. And she said to me her last party night was in Germany in 2007. That's cos she's got 3 kids now and can't live the party life like she'd like to.

I didn't know how to respond except that there is a balance to everything in life. I've never been married, never had kids and cannot comment. But I'd like to believe that there is always a balance to everything in life. Sometimes we lose focus and our balance. At other times, we take time out and re-focus to find that balance point. And at other times, we struggle just to keep our balance and focus.

No matter what, that balance point is there for us to find; it may be elusive and keeps changing, but stay calm and just know that it is there. Be still, and you will find. Most times we struggle to keep still, but be still, focus and there will be balance to Life and all its chaos.

She mentioned she will be able to catch up with friends only when her MIL or parents fly over to take care of kids. But when her parents are there, she worried about the tension between her parents and her spouse. Sigh, there is no perfection. 

I've been advising her to come back to work. Opportunities are better now here than in Europe, and I'm coming purely from a opportunistic point of view - career advancement etc. She worried that coming here now would mean having to spend some years in her husband's home country - something she'd like to avoid. 

She gave herself 6 years to prepare for coming to asia for work. I advised her against taking 6 years, her eldest child would be 12 yrs old and would have problems adapting to the education system here. This means private international school = higher fees. And teenage years also bring another set of problems.

Her spouse wanted to come over asia and then look for work. She is against the idea - no security. She wants to find employment before making the move. That of course is another obstacle though not impossible to overcome. 

At the end of the conversation, I wondered is it really necessary to be married with kids to be happy? Or is it me being pessimistic? Too much commitment,  too much stress.  Yet does less commitment = less stress? Actually my perfect recipe would be no commitment, no stress. Just pure happiness. 开心就好！ Ah hahah!!