阿姐卤牛肉

My sister's braised beef shank. One of the yummiest things she's made to date. See how the tendons run through the meat? Oooh yummy!

She's gotten the recipe from a friend and has been in a frenzy in stewing the beef lately. It's so tender and yummy that I am breaking my weekly meat quota just for this dish.

The other is a dish I made up from random ingredients in the kitchen - lily bulbs, cucumber, lotus seeds and chinese lup cheong.

A tradition

Its the time of the year again where we commemorate our ancestors by paying respects at their graves. To save my mum and dad a trip down town to do all the preparation, I volunteered to buy all the necessities this year, which entailed a long list of offerings and incense, paper money and the likes. Somehow I think I get a feeling I have gotten fleeced by the auntie manning the shop. My friend who was shopping with me said "at the rate you are buying on this mission, we could spend the way out of recession". Ho ho ho!

No la, it's just that I get a guilt trip each time, as I always feel I have spent less than adequate moments with my grandmother while she was alive. Perhaps my way of remembering her would include buying her favourite candy, her favourite type of joss paper for her now that she is gone. I would want to upkeep the traditions she kept while she was alive, which included keeping to these customs and traditions with some fanfare.

I' m sure she remembers me - the youngest and most defiant little brat she ever had to put up with. And I sure will remember her - the kindest and gentlest soul anyone would wish to have who loved gardening and plucking weeds from the garden.

Now that she's gone, no amount of joss sticks, or amount of money spent on the most elaborate and expensive joss paper can make up for the lost time I could have spent with her. Gosh, I hate guilt trips...

Tiring as the trip may be, somehow I enjoy the yearly pilgrimage to my Grandfather and Grandmother's tombs. It would invariably involve some searching around cos my dad only recognises this 'big tree' to lead him to the tomb. Somehow he forgets that trees do change and some may get cut down sometime. This year, I will set my GPS to mark my grandparent's tombstones. With my uncanny sense of direction, I fear I may lose my way around that place one day and Grandma would not be pleased of course.

So armed with a car load of stuff, I'll be setting off early early tomorrow to say hi to grand ma and grand pa.

And I'm posting this 唐诗 below as it just reminds me of 清明. I don't know why but it just does, maybe cos of the huge amount of grass and weeds at the tombs, which never seem to wither from the heat and drought. Each time after I am done with the ceremony, it never fails to feel terrible to have to leave my grandparents alone again for yet another year.

<<赋得古原草送别>> 白居易

离离原上草，一岁一枯荣。
野火烧不尽，春风吹又生。
远芳侵古道，晴翠接荒城。
又送王孙去，萋萋满别情。

Reflection of a day

I took a last minute drive to Melacca yesterday to send a friend to attend a relative's funeral. Another person I know that has succumbed to cancer. My friend and cousin were recollecting the life of this relative and how he had touched their lives - each time there were visitors to Melacca from Singapore, this relative would sacrifice his lunch time to welcome the visitors by making his way home to do so. And he would invariably so do the same when the visitors departed. This is so even though he was not some big boss of his own corporation, but an employee like the rest of us.

The funeral was a lavish affair carefully put together by his children and spouse. Although I don't know them well but I could feel and see the effort put in to remember their father by. An affair that wanted nothing but the best to ensure their father had a good after life thereafter.

The drive back from Melacca was fraught with thunderstorms that limited my views to 2 m before me, and the lack of street lighting in the dark of the night. Even in these conditions, cars were speeding (myself included) at 150kmh. Until traffic screeched to a halt. Traffic jam on a highway?

A sight to behold, 1 merc placed horizontal across the highway with bumper off, another car on the road shoulder, and a final one that sent chills down my spine. It was some distance off , lying overturned with wheels in the air.
I couldn't see if there were any injuries as the rain was pouring heavily, everything appeared grey.

After this haitus to my cruising speed, all the rest of the cars seemed to drive just that tad slower somehow.

And this article from LWL came to my recollection - one that I enjoyed reading.

Indeed, appreciate what we have been endowed with and envy not what we lack. For each day I am alive, might indeed be one lived on borrowed time. Be generous with your love and let people you love know. Whoever we may be, Presidents or Janitors, Professors or clerks, are all mothers or fathers, brothers or sisters, sons or daughters. We are after all, just transient beings on earth, placed in a box and reduced to ashes when our time is up.

Awake

It is 4am and I find myself hammering away on my keyboard.

In 5 hrs time I am due for an appointment to kick start my day. But not before I down my Soy Latte for the morning.

I step out to the balcony to breathe in the cool crisp morning air. Dawn breaks in 3 hours. What am I doing?

Thank you

For the longest time I've been meaning to post my thanks to a dear friend.

We'd gone to a second hand CD shop specialising in indie music, amongst a whole range of other music genre. The selection was great as there were lots of UK bands that I'd been meaning to lay my hands on.

I bought a whole load of stuff, which was suppose to be loaded to my ipod, or I'd bring the CDs back on my next visit. (luggage limit) I'd wilfully left behind against violent protests of course.

My friend had very thoughtfully asked someone to carry them back to Spore to me. I was and still am very grateful and very touched. To sender and courier. :)

And I'd also realised that the CDs covers have been carefully changed from the second hand scratched covers to brand new jewel box covers, making them seem absolutely, fabulously new. Though no words have been exchanged, I am touched by the thoughtfulness of the gesture.

So 谢谢侬 my friend, and hope to see you soon.

祝福

那夜，在回家途中， 我说了“如果真想去，没有地方太遥远。如果无心，哪里都太远”。

就这样，我们无所不有的谈天说地， 一直到天光。相聚的时光太短太快，思念的岁月却是那么漫长。

眼前的路不好走，你要当心保重，直到我们再见那刻。轻轻地，把彼此眉间的皱纹给抚平。

就这样，又开始了一段漫长的等待 - 等待直到约定融化成笑颜。

五月天的“生命有一种绝对”把心情给形容了：

“想要征服的世界 始终都没有改变
那地上无声蒸发我的泪
黑暗中期待光线 生命有一种绝对
等待我 请等待我
直到约定融化成笑颜”

Cambridge

《再别康桥》 - 徐志摩　

轻轻的我走了，正如我轻轻的来；
我轻轻的招手，作别西天的云彩。

那河畔的金柳，是夕阳中的新娘；
波光里的艳影，在我的心头荡漾。

软泥上的青荇，油油的在水底招摇；
在康河的柔波里，我甘心做一条水草！

那榆荫下的一潭，不是清泉，
是天上虹揉碎在浮藻间，沉淀着彩虹似的梦。

寻梦？撑一支长篙，向青草更青处漫溯，
满载一船星辉，在星辉斑斓里放歌。

但我不能放歌，悄悄是别离的笙箫；
夏虫也为我沉默，沉默是今晚的康桥。

悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的来；
我挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩。

十一月六日中国海上


徐志摩（1896-1931），浙江海宁人。1920年曾留学英国。1923年加入新月社，成为新月社诗派的代表诗人。

“志摩是蝴蝶，而不是蜜蜂，女人好处就得不着，女人的坏处就使他牺牲了。” --- 冰心